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HUMOR OF THE TURF. Heniv Simons, veteran of the running and trot ting- turf, has been a fall guy many a time. Largely l„ cause he cannot keep a secret, lie was a victim the bluer day when La Reine Hindoo. was ■ good thing at l.aioiii.i. I». Hanuneud, the owner, knew of Heur s a reputation as a disseminator of informa-li.,n and naturally selected him as the vi« t i m. HeOry has a liniimnt. and if he prides bluuell tor any tiling that he has ever had or done. It* the lim ui-n I . Hani mood asked Simons if he knew of ■ rum Hnl-lii, hi ior a bowed leotloa. Did Bean know? Sure, ami he had stuff to make a tendon with a knot in it Straight as a die. Haul a— d inlonned him thai La Peine Hindoo had a tendon lliusly affected and Henry promised to give him some of the treasured stuff. _ , , , At lk« track there was quite I demand for I. a Itiine Hindi",. Henrv Mood around the an, lion booth and saw the price against the male dwindle to even looii. v. He smiled to think that this mare had i hawed tendon, and that he was the only man on the race Hack to kjtoUJ it- »* **w " bis Mend* bidding oa the mare and he could not stand atouud and see the money burned up. so he imparted the Information, and the man passed La liehjc Hindoo, up. WIhii Henry saw the marc lead ii. .in start to finish and win by a half dozen lengths he disappeared. Over at the old Newport track Henry turned up one day with a similar story. He was in the tK, and be saw Sir Christopher backed from 49 to I doara to IS without a dollar befaa bet. He bunted up Manager Frank Fowler and --aid. you havent a chance to run thif track with a lot of pinueads making book lor you. Why. they wont take a dollar o-i Sii Chrtstouuer. It took over an hour this morninu to b»* him out of his stall. Why. that horse Is -i,ne no mi badly that tlie Hiiniane Society ought ,.to be uolilied. Its a shame to run a lioise Hue fin If I had a million dollars anyone could lake ii fram mc if Rlr .Christopher will gel anything." He rolled home, and once again Henry was mlsi Ing. Cincinnati Enquirer. Heard a: Latonla. Scene: The bet tine, ahed: hind! capper, with dope bonk in Band, leaning against an iron support. He turned page after page and then rkixed he book With a bang. "Cant separata the bum-li." said he. "No one can pel tbesa apart." A u le of turfroeu were within hearing distance ol the monologue, aud One Said ti. II, e halidieapper: ".Inst think of the difference between you and starter Murray. on cant get them apart, and lie i snt •, I ihein together." Before a recent sale ■ two-year-olds in the pad dock at firajeseod a wag met "Father Bill" Daly and remarked. "Mr. Dnly. what do you think of the meteorological conditions today?" "Ill tell you." replied the Sage nf Hartford grimly. "Anything that Tom Welsh sends Into the sab s ring isnt worth a copper. He never lets go of a good oae." After the finish of the Mermaid Stakes at Sheeps-bead Bay. ill which Amelia .Tenks beat the 1 to 15 favorite, Ocean Bound, largely as a result of Jockey But well a carelessness, dapper, suave George Wheel-o k looked rather gloomy. It was only a few minutes previous that Mr. Win-clock bad walked over to Bui Cowan and in low tones murmured. "I wouldst like to wager you 2. MX that Ocean Bound wins the heat." "I hate to part with ,000." answered Mr. Cowan, "but as you have always beep a friend of mine vou are on at the prevailing quotation of 1 to 12." Mr. Wbeelock then retired to th«t stand to see Ocean Bound win. Sam Hildrcth was likewise infatuated with Ocean Bound, aud to win a paltry . m he separated himself from .00o. Said trainer Sam Darling to Lord Rosebery. after Neil Cows defeat in the Derby: "He was beaten coining up tlie hill, my lord." "And down the hill," added his lordship.