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THEY ARE DOING FAIRLY WELL For an army that a was never raised ah was kept at home to suppress antiwar riots c was torpedoed and sunk on the way across d was too low spirited to fight when it landed e starved to death owing to lack of supplies that were sunk by the ubiquitous Illwats f discovered that it had no quarrel with the Germans g was captured by a small patrol h got lost in No Mans Land i annihilated by a Iwimb dropped from an airplane k gassed out of existence by n few clouds of mustard 1 scared to death by the sound of its own artillery m caught by a barrage because it had no artillery with which to reply n wiped out because of Its refusal to take pre ¬ cautions against trench fever o stood up against it wall and shot because of insubordination p carried off by the gout incurred lit eating up nil the meat and drinking up all the wine from the French q driven insane by letters telling of starvation at home r scattered by an irresistible longing to see the sights s wrecked on its own railway from the coast t worn out from marching all the way from the coast to the front owing to the failure of the American engineers to build a railway u rendered unfit for fighting by indul ¬ gence in baseball during drill time v converted to the cause of the kaiser by a fen proclamations dropped from aeroplanes w recalled to vote for Wilson on condition of being mustered out with a pension x put in the guardhouse indefinitely because of refusal to do anything except parade on the Champs Elysecs y given up as hopeless by General IVrshing z unable to fight effectively because it was so large that it got in its own way our troops did fairly well yesterday New York Post
