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ON SECOND NEW YORK N Y May 1 At long last the U S Olympic Committee has come clean By hooking up with ColgatePalm ¬ olive the men con ¬ cerned with getting our athletes to Mel ¬ bourne for the Novem ¬ ber games of this six ¬ teenth Olympiad are assured of 100000 in the till For every box top sent in by a satis ¬ fied customer the suds mob will pay the Olym ¬ pic fund 10 cents up to 100 grand Beyond 100000 its no soap nere win oe tnose wno win criticize tn project as smacking of sheer commer ¬ cialism Such critics are hereby warned that they will be abused as insanitary citizens Mudslingers need not apply For a time after announcement of the project there was much confusion Diners at 21 where the brainwashing took place labored under the misconception that customers sending in a boxtop would get one blympic athlete in return wrapped with easy instructions for immediate use It was suggested that this might be an easy out for the amateur overlords They could give away Wes Santee and thereby wash him out of their hair Halo was the recommended shampoo inasmuch as most of the A A U hierarchy wear them In the SimonPure League theyre standard equipment equipmentA A horrible thought comes to mind What if the Russians decide to undermine the fundraising gimmick They could buy up all CP products and nasty boys that they are throw away the boxtops Imagine the confusion Our boys might not get to Mel ¬ bourne bourneThe The Russians of course are not con ¬ fronted with the necessity of raising money for their Olympic athletes If they had such a problem they probably would solve it by underwriting caps on vodka bottles For each cap sent to the Kremlin a ruble would be paid into the Olympic fund of the U S S R ROther Other countries might follow suit Kip ¬ pers in England wine in France and chow mein in China The possibilities are limit ¬ less Kimberley might decide to contribute to the South African Olympic fund in di A Ol XdllU Yltll tllC liUillUCl LU UUALU JO ibCllU ibCllUin in by purchasers of purewhite diamonds A gem of an idea thats what whatThe The tieup of the Olympics with suds has produced considerable argument The pur lists are dismayed because they View the By Barney Naaler misalliance of soap and footracing as sheer commercialism They feel that the wherewithal to fly our athletes to Aus ¬ tralia should have been raised in the good old way ie through individual subscrip ¬ tions tionsPractical Practical men concerned with paying the freight counter with the argument that barring only government subsidy of the U S team help should be accepted from any source as long as the Olympic insignia is not used commercially They feel they made this kind of a deal with Colgate ColgateHowever However it could prove embarrassing What will happen if our No 1 sprinter is found smuggling Lifebuoy soap into his shower Why he might even be barred from the Olympics perhaps causing our downfall at Melbourne MelbourneFor For want of a horse King Richard blew his kingdom For want of the right suds we might blow the Olympics It all boils down to a dirty Russian plot
