view raw text
i.:.. m. . ■ INSIDE HOLLYWOOD By Herb Stein HOLLYWOOD, Calif., June 24.— CREAM OF THE CROP: Joey Bishop, called here from NY by producer Marty Rackin for his i.:.. m. . ■ first first film film role role in in The The ■ first first film film role role in in The The Deep Six," did his initial scene at the Long Beach shipyard. "This is" the first time," said the nite club comic, "that 1ye ever played to an audience that that was sober." Army Acherd ... A cabby told it to reporter Frank Laro: Two men got into his cab and asked asked if if he he could could take take asked asked if if he he could could take take them to a place where there were some women. By the way, this iand a frequent request, and one fraught with peril. The cabby cagily drove them to Hollywood Cemetery, handed them the fat taxi tab, and said: "There they are, boys, dig em up." Hed recognized them as vice squad officers. Matt Weinstpck . . . Sophia Loren: "I am an animal with a brain." Erskine Johnson . . . Steve Peck, v of the Seville, bought his girl friend a diamond-studded pillbox with a price tag of 99. She filled it up with 25 cents worth of aspirin. Bill Kennedy . . . Frank E. Marlowe claims there are two types of party-goers. One wants to leave early, one wants to leave late. Trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Sidney Skolsky . . . The reason experience is the best teacher is that in many cases a person cant see the light until he gets burned. Olin Miller. AAA - Remember the good old days when there was no air-conditioning, no TV, no laun i dromats, no frozen foods, no scotojh tape, no hydramatic cars, no Waring mixers — in other words, things were pretty damn tough in the Good Old Days! Mike Connolly . . . The German camera industry is worried about the inroads Japanese imports are making in this country, and is about to launch a counter-active public relations campaign. Lower prices would help. Jimmy Starr . . . Hear about the dress goods manufacturer who went to the NBC executive offices and asked what it would cost for him to sponsor a show for a half-hour? The executive quoted 7,500 and another 0,000 for the show, and added that for that money he could expect to reach 20,000,000 people. "How much," asked the prospective sponsor, "to reach 1,000 people?" Leo Guild. AAA Eddie Albertson was promoted from chief petty officer to a full lieutenancy in "The Enemy Below" because the studio wardrobe department didnt have a CPO outfit to fit him. Skolsky . . . Isadore Moidel, the famous Spring St. lawyer and raconteur, was waiting for an appointment in his doctors office when the, receptionist turned and said: "The doctor will be free in five minutes." "Thats not neces-! sary," replied Mr. Moidel. "I expect to pay." Gene Sherman . . . Georgie Jessels | Lesson on How to Bean Emcee: First learn j to speak distinctly. Yoa do this by filling your mouth with marbles. Each day you| speak with, one less marble. When youve lost all your marbles youre an emcee. Connolly . . . Eddie Cantor, joining the growing list of rating-beraters. "Its a sad commentary on show business," he says, a sponsor sees a show on Saturday night and cant tell whether its good or not 1 until he sees the Trendex on Monday." Archerd, AAA Oliver Mitchell sent this in: "I stopped at a village store to get a copy of Shaws Pygmalion. Girl behind the counter asked me three times to repeat the title, then said, No, sir, we dont carry animal stories." Hedda Hopper . . . Theyre telling about the studio employe who went to his boss with a hard-luck story about why he. needed a raise. He didnt get it, but the studio bought the story. Sherman . . . Al Sendreys definition of "Manhood": "When Boy Scouts begin girl scouting" . . . A starlet, discussing her ideas about marriage with Mannie Manheim, told him: "Id only marry for love — but I couldnt love a man who wasnt rich*" Skolsky ... A Bev Hills shop that specializes in supplies for well-heeled dogs, now sells perfume for the pooches at an hour. Kennedy. AAA After packing his suitcases for a trip abroad, writer .Frank Scully decided to weigh them to avoid being charged for overweight. At the first opportunity he put them on a drugstore scale. The scale told his suitcases: "Your keen analytical mind is of great assistance in solving the problems of others." "So," says Frank in a gay farewell, "if you ever need help call on my suitcases." Weinstock . . . Italian actress Sophia Loren says that the man she marries doesnt have to be- wealthy. "I am rich enough for two," she said in a Hollywood interview. Hollywood Citizen-News . . . From Bill Kennedy: Harry Stoner reports his young daughter asked him* "Daddy, what goes faster, horses or airplanes?" Harry told her airplanes, of course. "Then why," she wanted to know, "dont you bet on planes?"
