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. INSIDE HOLLYWOOD ByHerbSteia HOLLYWOOD, Calif., May 7. — CREAM OP THE CROP — CBSs Johnny Carson said it: "Success in Hollywood is relative. The ~ — . closer the relative, the greater the success." Erskine Johnson . . . Movie houses are giving away dishes again, and with all the eating going on in the theatres, its about time. Jimmy S t a r r ... Grace Grimaldis "High Society" goes out August 1, and producer Sol Siegel doesnt expect either of her co-stars, Ciosby or Sinatra, to announce any wedding plans for that date! Army Archerd . . . Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis will appear double in their newest picture, "Hollywood or Bust." Trick photography will present two pairs of Martin and Lewis. "Were taking a big chance," said director -Prank Tashlin. "The world may not be ready for two Dean Martins and Jerry Lewises." Hollywood Citizen-News . . . Roberta Haynes said it: "The fella who didnt want to come to your party is usually the person who doesnt know when to go home." Wanda Henderson . . . Phil Harris opines that nowadays penny saved •wouldnt have bought anything anyway. Mike Connolly . . . Definition of a commercial: The first and last half hours of a 15-minute program. Leo Guild. A * * SUGGESTED AS AN expanded title for that upcoming 20th-Fox production: "The Best Things In Life Are Free — After Taxes." George E. Phair . . . MacBenoff met a playboy who owes money to everybody in. town, but is going around with a I wealthy girl. Mac said to him, "Why dont you get married and settle up?" Sidney Skolsky . . . Theatre managers are yelling for more horror pictures.--A theatre managers answer to my "Why?" — "In the excitement the, kids eat more popcorn." Johnson . . The long-winded commercial on a TV program last week got a neat dig from the emcee. He said: "The preceding commercial is available on long-playing records." Bill Kennedy . . .. Perhaps the person who delays paying his doctor does so in the belief that his physician will be more diligent in trying to keep alive a person who owes him money. Olin Miller . . . How safe is safe? Few drivers are 100 per cent qualified to drive. One must be mentally, physically and emotionally flawless, statistics indicate; and have a car that is in perfect condition. To be doubly-sure — stay in bed! Sam Freeman .* . . "None of my marriages has been tranquil," says Zsa Zsa Gabor. "A woman puts her entire beauty and youth into marriage, and what does a, man do? He uses all his charm all day long at work ind in the evening he is tired. This is very dull." Skolsky . . . Gandering some of this years VERY low-cleavaged Miss Rheingold contestants, Jack Kelly said, "Theyre shameful, shocking, and revealing — e v e n better than last years." Connolly. « * * DONT WORRY about Liberace keeping his Vegas loot — he only plays the 5-10c slot machines. Archerd . . . Oscar Levant recalls the time he ran into Noel Coward, who told him "youre not the only one who can do it. I had a nervous breakdown in 1928." Replied Levant: "What psychiatrist did you go to?" -Answered Coward: "I did it all myself — and dont intend . ever to have one again." Dave Kaufman . . . Dont be surprised one of these nights while watching "Highway Patrol" to see Brod Crawford stop an L.A. police car to gab with Jack Webb. The TV lawmen have agreed to exchange appearances. Johnson . . . Dr. Ann Bells date called her the other day and said he had two tickets for the theatre. "Fine," she said, "Ill start j dressing right away." "Please do that," he said. "The tickets are for tomorrow night,- Kennedy . . . One time~Lillian Lee, the cocktail waitress, said to an unsteady customer, Dont you know when youve had enough?" "How should I know?" he answered. . "There arent any instructions on the bottle." Mat Wein-stock. AAA WE DIDNT READ the article-in a magazine on how to climb the social ladder, as we have known for some time that this is done by licking the boots of those above and stepping in the faces of those below. Miller . . . Ladies of a bridge club I know of simply couldnt remember whose deal it was. So they devised a happy memory jogger. The dealer always wears a hat, then passes it on next hand. Gene Sherman . . . Actor Donald OConnor, on the merits-of oldtime silent movies versus modern talkids: "I would love to have been a part of that silent era. Im a great believer in pantbmine. Most pictures now are overburdened with dialogue." Citizen-News . . . Overhead: "Darling, you re-.mind me of my mother — and all the things she told me not to do." Connolly . . . Hollywood is a place where a high school girl wins a film contract before she wins a diploma. Phair ... Sidney Skolskys, tip on mens fashions: Director George Sidney has his tobacco pouches tailored to match his custom-made Tattersall vests.
