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INSIDE HOLLYWOOD By Herb Stein HOLLYWOOD, Calif., June 4. CREAM OF THE CROP Johnny Desmond says hes worried about Yul Brynner being mobbed by autograph fans: "He may get hurt if a fan ever tries to grab a lock of his head." Erskine Johnson . . . The stewardess on the Western Airlines -flight from Angeltown clicked ok the intercom as the plane landed at Salt Lake City and went through the customary announcements about baggage and what a pleasure it had been to serve the passengers. "And if anybody finds a green button," she added as an afterthought, "its mine." Gene Sherman . . . Barbara Nichols has a dress with such a low neckline she says she has no place to hang a napkin. Sidney Skolsky . . . "Las Vegas, says Lisa Kirk, "is where youre dead when your numbers ISNT up." Jimmy Starr . . . Plash from Joe Evefflashin . Lewis: "Just signed a six-picture deal at M-G-M now Im waiting for M-G-M to sign it." Mike Connolly ... I love the story about the starlet who went in to buy her first Cadillac, and asked if they gave green trading stamps. Sheilah Graham. Los Angeles has made a friend. He is an out-of-town gentleman who wrote in advance to a local hotel asking if dogs were permitted in the place. The manager replied: "I never knew a dog to steal towels, .get drunk and noisy in the bar, or slip away without paying his bills. If your pooch will vouch for you, Ill be glad to have you both." Art Ryon . . . Jim Amess explanation of "Gunsmokes" popularity with adiilt audiences: "We dont shoot 10 bullets out of a six-shooter." Army Archerd . . . Lets start out nice and easy, about the night-club owner who took out fire insurance and turned down hurricane insurance. After all, he reasoned, who ever heard of starting a hurricane? Bill Kennedy . . . Jerry Lewis: "Palm Springs us now so swanky it has the only hospital with an unlisted number, and they use Jaguar ambulances." Starr ... A picture postcard from Al Hix, who is in Venice, Italy, publicizing the film, "A Farewell to Arms," shows at flock of gondolas on an expanse of water. Als message: "Look! Wall to wall storm drains!" Matt Weinstock. AAA Brynie Foy attended a producers meeting the other night. Afterwards, a friend asked him, "What happened at the meeting?" "Three hours," Brynie replied. Skolsky . . . After 20 years of singing without vocal lessons, Judy Garland is finally taking em, and believes they will eliminate the laryngitis that plagued her in the past. Graham". . . Heard about the little old lady taking her first plane trip? "Fasten your seat belt," said the stewardess. "My goodness," said the new passenger, "I didnt even bring one." Archerd . . . Oh, noITThe My Fair Lady Health Club out on Robertson Blvd. is going to open the same kind of place for men and call it My Fair Laddy." Ryon . . . Visitor from NY to Alex Gottlieb: "How can you stand this Hollywood rat race?" Alex: "Oh, its not bad if youre a rat." Connolly . . . Keith McConnell has an explanation of why so many people stay home and watch TV. "They prefer wider seats to wider screens." Skolsky. Have a couple of Texas stories. So thisj Texan stocked his ranch with 400 head of Cadillac. Another bought a Cadillac and took his change in Volkswagens. Kennedy ... A small boat in front of a house in Van Nuys has a sign tacked to it: "For Sail." Sherman . . . "To what extent are you in-; terested in living at least 10 years longer?" Catchline of vitamins advertisement. To just about all the extent there is. Olin Miller . . . During the show at the Chi-Chi, Jerry Lewis said: "And now I will do a few numbers from a new album, Mickey "Cohen Sings." Starr . . .Mamie Van Doren isnt gonna do "Teenage Girls" because, she explains, "Im 23." Archerd ... A newspaper in Las Vegas heads its vital statistics column on births, marriages j and divorces as: "Hatched, Matched, and Detached." Ryon . . . .Red Skeltbn lost, this line from his last TV show: "Id like to! start a union, be investigated and then settle down." Hmmmmm! Johnson. AAA Lounging around the pool of the Hollywood Algiers, Harry Stone heard his small daughter ask another girl how old her dog was. "Ten," she answered. "Really?" was the response. "She looks much younger." "Oh," the other girl explained. "I dress her young." Sherman . . . After reading Diana Barrymores revealing and best-selling autobiography, "Too Much, Too Soon," Ira Nickerson is almost inspired to write his own called "So Far, Nothing!" Weinstock ... To be a success in Hollywood, Hal Kan-tor told Sid Skolsky, a man should think twice before saying nothing.
